aching-all-over and totally humblified
Just got back from Gabaldon, Nueva Ecija, where I spent the weekend with Gawad Kalinga, helping to build houses for some lesser-fortunate people. Stayed with a family: Manong Jimmy and his... partner, Ate Juliet (they're not married yet) and their children: Ivy, Jethro and baby Joshua. They were very hospitable and welcoming, so much so that staying with them was a very humblifying experience. I mean, this family had lost most of their belongings in a flood, they eve apologized for their lack of stuff, and yet their welcome was so warm, they really took me and my groupmate, Kris, into their lives so wholeheartedly... it was amazing.
The community was closely knit with everyone, even the children, helping build more houses to be awarded to even more families. As for us, we helped paint some houses and dig this DEEP hole to be used for a septic tank. Hard work, but fun because the other GK volunteers (mostly ADMU juniors) were so passionate for what they were doing and so funny. As for eye candy, there were some life forms but i won't get into more detail because one never knows who reads one's blog any more...
Made some new friends and bonded with some old aquaintances. Before I forget, I want to say that I was also convicted of some deep-seated prejudices. I don't like children much. Especially the... aesthetically-challenged ones. That's why I was so happy that my godson is so cute, I'd have a lot of trouble loving him if he was an ugly baby. Anyway, the daughter of our family, Ivy, isn't very pretty. She has a lot of pus-filled sores on her feet, and she's very insecure because she's "bulol." I even wished this other girl, Den-den, was my "sister" because she was pretty. Anyway, as I spent more time with them, I noticed that Den-den was bullying Ivy. She kept on calling her "ugly" and "bulol" (how does that translate to English anyway?).
I could see myself in Ivy. I had my own world in grade school and maybe that contributed to the fact that I just didn't belong. But the other kids in school just didn't like me. And that really affected how I looked at myself for years. Even now, the main instigator of the bullying still has emanates this bad "aura" in my head.
What's my point... my point is the reason why I don't like kids is because I'm scared of them. It's so easy to mess them up, to give them inner scars that stay for life. Simple words, small actions, I've read that children can read adults amazingly well. Basta, I'm so scared of children. Plus I don't have patience for their annoying little things. And I'm jealous of their world. Basta, even though I extremely dislike children, this weekend I tried my best to be very nice to Ivy. It was hard, especially when she asked to sleep next to me and Kris. A sweet gesture, but knowing that she had headlice, I didn't know how to say "No frickin' way, kid!" Good thing I didn't have to do it because by the time me and Kris got back from "Processing" (no, we did not get injected with preservatives and canned) the family (except the dad) was already asleep.
I want to go back to Gabaldon and help some more, and I know Chev would want to as well. This country is not going to be changed by people in higher governement. If we want to redeem the Philippines, we have to start from the ground up, we have to change the way our people live and think. Only when the problem of poverty has been alleviated can we start thinking of real development.
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On Wednesday I saw Jihanne, one third of our TRLA trio, for literally three minutes. We hadn'te seen each other in around two years. We shrieked like little girls and hugged and tried to catch up the best we could in the three minutes we had. It was kinda sad that we hadn't seen each other in so long, but it was also nice to see that she hadn't changed much. I think when friendships are built not on superficialities but on solid love, they last. Although years may pass, when you get back together, the core of the person stays unchanged however much external things change. (She said I lost weight. Yaaay!)
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